Here’s my 9th time doing stand-up. It’s at my favorite spot, the Brody Theater. Anatoli Brant gives me a funny intro and, if you listen real close, you can hear Jen Tam give me her iconic “yeah, dawg” as I come offstage. [Also, besides the Super Mario clip and the Price is Right sound effects, all of the tunes are mine]
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Hey, folks! I’d really like to make a living doing something I love. It would even make these shows a ton better & more frequent, in the process. It’s really easy to help…
If you like what I’m doing:
1) You can donate through PayPal by using the ‘donate’ button. It’s on the homepage: (it’s a bright yellow button on the right & down a little bit).
[0 people have done this so far!!!]
2) Comment on and/or rate the show on iTunes. [7 people have done this so far!!!]
3) ‘Like’ the portlandiansfacebookpage! [121 people have done this so far!!!]
4) Tell your friends to listen: I’ve made it easy for you. You can use the ‘share’ buttons for Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Reddit, etc…
Go to the bottom of this post. If they’re not visible, click here. They shall magically appear at the bottom of the post. (You can also tell your friends ‘face to face’ like the old days…couldn’t hurt, right?).
5) Also, you can buy my damn music: temperature & pressure–’geology’
6) …and get things like this from @portlandians1 on Twitter:
Thanks for listening and looking, everybody.
Tell people you love them.
I Luv you guys. Take care…
Robin Williams has been like an older, funnier brother or the best of all uncles for my entire life…someone that I could check-in on and be revived with joy whenever I needed it. The world seems weaker and less interesting without him…but, thanks to him, we’ll always have his work to lift us up, to make our lives lighter and to give us a blueprint for how to be kinder, more thoughtful beings.
Maybe we should have seen the warning signs and done something:
Maybe there was nothing we could do for him,
but there’s something we can do every day for ourselves:
Never give up whatever puts this look on your face.
If someone gives you shit about it, get new friends.
Have fun back on Ork, old buddy.
Thanks for sharing some laughs with us down here on Earth for a bit.
We talk about: weird brother moves, raising children to be catholic AND racist, The Pittsburgh Steelers’ Ben Roethlisberger™, working in a nursing home, getting the show started!!!, sitting™, growing up on Hitler’s bomb list in Rockford Illinois, Ingersoll™, avoiding human interaction, teaching sex ed, going to the Ron Jeremy Sex Club & investing in masturbation
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Hey folks! I’d really like to make a living doing something I love (it would even make these shows a ton better & more frequent, in the process). It’s really easy to help…
If you like what I’m doing:
1) You can donate through PayPal by using the ‘donate’ button.It’s on the homepage: (It’s a bright yellow button on the right & down a little bit).
[0 people have done this so far!!!]
2) Comment on and/or rate the show on iTunes.
[7 people have done this so far!!!]
3) ‘Like’ the portlandians facebook page!
[91 people have done this so far!!!]
4) Tell your friends to listen:
I’ve made it easy for you. You can use the ‘share’ buttons for Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Reddit, etc. Go to the bottom of this post. If they’re not visible, click here. They shall magically appear at the bottom of the post. (You can also tell your friends ‘face to face’ like the old days…couldn’t hurt, right?)
6) …and get things like this from @portlandians1 on Twitter:
“#7thSignOfTheApocalypse I just saw a skateboarder experience success! #LetsBeHonestNoIDidnt”
Thanks for listening and looking, everybody. Tell people you love them. I Luv you guys. Take care…
If you know this story: Yes, maybe I am piling-on…but I promise it is with with my own, specific take (on two separate issues). If you don’t know this story because you don’t care about football: Don’t worry, there’s no football talk here…just social commentary.
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Richie Incognito of the NFL’s Miami Dolphins
…weird that a guy is racist AND has a tattoo that says, “MADE IN THE USA”. #sarcasm
This next video deals with Mike Pouncey. This is the player called out by the panel on the podcast who plays next to Incognito and should have done something about his behavior. He doesn’t seem like someone we should expect too much from.
This next video shows the lead-up to the Incognito/Antonio Smith incident involving the helmet-swinging that I talk about in the podcast. I still don’t think swinging a helmet at someone’s face is a good idea, but it certainly wasn’t out of thin air.
In my opinion, we as individuals are to blame whenever people are racist and we let them get away with it. This is the case in our personal lives AND in what we choose to support as consumers.
The Miami Dolphins deserve blame because they have tried repeatedly to suppress reports of Incognito’s actions (racist and others) and have shown him that there are little to zero consequences for what he has done. With this ‘leadership’ style, the Dolphins lost the chance to demonstrate the weight of those actions & the teaching opportunity to let him know that those actions will not be tolerated in today’s society.
The NFL itself should also shoulder a lot of the blame here. Leading by example means not allowing the team from Washington to use the name ‘Redskins’. Can’t we think of something better than naming teams after ethnicities? The NFL is running the risk of losing a generation or more of its prized fan base (and revenue stream).
Keep in mind during all of this that the NFL is considered a non-profit organization. Therefore, this $9 billion/year business pays zero income tax & receives hundreds of millions of dollars per stadium in public-funding…all while charging hyper-inflated prices & refusing to allow fans to see their home team play on television if the game doesn’t sell out. The owner of the ‘Redskins’ (that phrase sounds hideous), Daniel Snyder, has said that they will never change the name. Maybe since he makes millions/year in profit because of the public he should consider listening to the public. Maybe he could pay for his own fucking stadium…or maybe he could at least pay some taxes like the rest of us.
Sign a petition to end that tax-exempt status here.
The R-word = The N-word
Here’s a counter to the “it’s tradition” argument: Get better traditions.
Here’s a counter to the “we’re honoring you” argument: Nope.
This topic extends to Major League Baseball as well:
One of these is a real hat for a real team. Why is that one considered ‘okay’?
Hey folks! I’d really like to make a living doing something I love (it would even make these shows a ton better & more frequent, in the process). It’s really easy to help…
If you like what I’m doing:
1) You can donate through PayPal by using the ‘donate’ button. It’s on the homepage: (it’s a bright yellow button on the right & down a little bit). [0 people have done this so far!!!]
2) Comment on and/or rate the show on iTunes. [7 people have done this so far!!!]
4) Tell your friends to listen: I’ve made it easy for you. You can use the ‘share’ buttons for Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Reddit, etc… Go to the bottom of this post. If they’re not visible, click here. They shall magically appear at the bottom of the post. (You can also tell your friends ‘face to face’ like the old days…couldn’t hurt, right?).
This is not what I expected from Cuban radio, but I should have. It’s eclectic, interesting and devoid of ads (Cuba has no advertising…radio, TV, billboards…you name it). This is what radio was like in the US before Clear Channel & their corporate chums began trying to sterilize our minds for profit.
You’ll probably get a lot more out of this series if you’re fluent in Spanish, but I know almost none and I love it. I bet you will, too. Throw this in your iTunes for something completely different.
On this episode:
We hear instrumental covers of some classics. Even the intro/outro music between songs is glorious, kitschy & endearing (They use a clip of ELO, folks–I mean, come on.). Enjoy!/¡Disfrutar!
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“By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising…kill yourself. Thank you. Just planting seeds, planting seeds is all I’m doing. No joke here, really. Seriously, kill yourself, you have no rationalization for what you do, you are Satan’s little helpers. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show. Seriously, I know the marketing people: ‘There’s gonna be a joke comin’ up.’ There’s no fuckin’ joke. Suck a tail pipe, hang yourself…borrow a pistol from an NRA buddy, do something…rid the world of your evil fuckin’ presence.” –Bill Hicks—
Hey folks! I’d really like to make a living doing something I love (it would even make these shows a ton better & more frequent, in the process). It’s really easy to help…
If you like what I’m doing, you can:
1) …donate through PayPal. There’s a ‘donate’ button on the homepage: (it’s the yellow button on the right & down a little bit). [0 people have done this so far!!!]
2) …comment on and/or rate the show on iTunes. [7 people have done this so far!!!]
3) ‘Like’ the portlandians facebook page! [83 people have done this so far!!!]
4) Tell your friends to listen: I’ve made it easy for you. You can use the ‘share’ buttons for Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Reddit, etc… Go to the bottom of this post. If they’re not visible, click here. They shall magically appear at the bottom of the post. (You can also tell your friends ‘face to face’ like the old days…couldn’t hurt, right?).
5) Also, you can buy my damn music: temperature & pressure–’geology’
6) …and get things like this from @portlandians1 on Twitter:
“#ThingsNobodySays Hey, could you whistle more?”
Thanks for listening and looking, everybody. Tell people you love them.
I Luv you guys. Take care…
You’ll probably get a lot more out of this series if you’re fluent in Spanish, but I know almost none and I love it. I bet you will, too. Throw this in your iTunes for something completely different. It starts with us jumping right into the middle of a radio theater piece with the word, ‘intertanto’ (meanwhile)…
Click the play button to listen:
Just in case the audio player is not visible on your device, don’t fret. Click here.
Hey folks! I’d really like to make a living doing something I love (it would even make these shows a ton better in the process). It’s really easy to help…
If you like what I’m doing:
1) You can donate through PayPal by using the ‘donate’ button. It’s on the homepage:
(it’s a bright yellow button on the right & down a little bit). [0 people have done this so far!!!]
2) Comment on the iTunes comments page for the show. [7 people have done this so far!!!]
4) Tell your friends to listen:
I’ve made it easy for you. You can use the ‘share’ buttons for Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Reddit, etc… Go to the bottom of this post. If they’re not visible, click here. They shall magically appear at the bottom of the post. (You can also tell your friends ‘face to face’ like the old days…couldn’t hurt, right?).
Also, you can buy my damn music: temperature & pressure–’geology’
…and get things like this from @portlandians1 on Twitter:
“Sometimes people change their name to be more ‘radio-friendly’. It’s possible the birth name of #MichaelBublé is Michael Tittphúck.”
Thanks for listening and looking, everybody.
Tell people you love them.
I Luv you guys.
Take care…
This post has been altered from it’s original state due to a threatening letter received from my employer’s law firm and my lack of financial ability to defend my rights as a citizen.
After 2 1/2 months of broken promises, endless delays & disrespectful treatment, I was at the end of my ability to financial handle the working situation I was in. As a last olive branch, I sent an email to my employer explaining my situation and the timeline of actions taken by my employer which I considered unfair at best. I asked what his opinion was of these events and about the possibility of things going differently in the future. I thought being someone who has a supposedly ‘socially conscious’ business, he would see the errors in his inability to think ahead and/or his complete disregard for the well-being of other people.
I have time & date stamped texts, emails & hard copy evidence of every claim made. However, my employer responded without remorse, denied everything I have proof of and made it clear that this treatment would continue at his business indefinitely. I considered this to be something to warn other potential job-seekers to avoid, so I decided to post my part of the exchange on this website.
For posting these documentable facts concerning his labor practices, I was fired & issued a cease & desist letter from my employer’s lawyer. I have researched this matter and discussed it with experts since then and I know I have the law on my side. Oregon labor laws, internet libel laws, legal precedent & the mountain of proof I have showing that these are not false claims gives me the confidence to say that there is no chance I would lose in court…Here’s the problem: In part because of the labor practices of my employer, my financial situation is such that I could not afford to defend myself if a lawsuit was brought against me. So, I’m in the position of having to give up my freedom of speech and ability to act in protest against blatant injustice because he has kept the wages he promised me and is now using them against me to bully me like a heartless corporation, while masquerading as a socially conscious, local, vegan food distributor in SE Portland.
[altered post follows]:
————————————————————————————————————
This is an e-mail I sent to my employer, _____ ________ at _______ _______:
“I would like to give a timeline of my experiences at _______ _______ and hear what _______ _______’s take is on these.
Late March:
I came, as a friend, looking for work. At the time, I explained that the reason was that my employer had cut my shifts down to 18hours/week right as I had gotten back from a trip & I was completely broke. I explained that I couldn’t live on an income this small and that I was in a desperate situation. I was hired to work part-time at _______ _______, which was fine because I could continue to work at my other job and attain something close to full-time hours collectively. After working for _______ _______ for 2 days, I was offered full-time hours. I assume this was based on the solid performance of my duties at _______ _______. These full-time hours were conditional, however. I was told it was necessary that I be available to start full-time on April 12th. Otherwise, _______ _______ would have to hire someone else & I would lose my chance at full-time employment with _______ _______. This meant that I had to give my 2 weeks notice on my other job that day. I asked again if I would be getting full-time hours. The answer was yes. I asked if this meant 40hours/week. The answer was yes. I immediately called and quit a perfectly good job where I was treated well.
March 30th:
I received an e-mail from _______ _______, stating the following,
“So this is a big deal for me as I am putting a lot of faith into (sic) you…Your initial schedule will look like this:
Monday – 8:30 – 12:30 (or when complete)
Tuesday – 7:30 ’til finish (cookie route)
Wednesday – 8:30 – 12:30 (or when complete)
Thursday – 8:30 – 12:30 (or when complete)
Friday – 5:00am – ’til finish (Seattle Route)
See you on Monday at 8:30am.
Thanks, _____”
This adds up to ~37hours/week. As of June 8th, I have yet to work this schedule and I have never received as many as 37 hours in a week.
April 1st:
Two days after that e-mail, I received another from _______ _______ stating, “I won’t be able to be in next week” and wouldn’t be able to fully train me before leaving. It went on to say that _______ _______ would not be giving me full-time hours right away, as promised, but that _______ _______ “would like to hold off until early May”. Then, I was offered 18hours/week. This was the exact amount of hours/week on which I had informed _______ _______ that I could not live. Even if this had been the only situation, this one single move cost me over $700. Later, while being trained on a delivery to the bank, the teller asked how much the writer of that e-mail was looking forward to their vacation in Hawaii. I guess I’m supposed to presume that the _______ _______ owner/trainer who promised me full-time hours starting on April 12th did not know that they were going to Hawaii, but that their bank teller did. Later on that day, I was told that I needed to work on my attitude.
April 26th:
With four months advance notice, I asked for one Friday off at the end of August to go to a wedding in rural Canada. Later, _______ _______ used this against me as an excuse to deny me the Friday Seattle shifts, which I have still never done. These were the shifts that were promised to me in March and which were used to convince me to quit my other job, where I was treated well.
May 9th:
By this point Javier, a driver who worked 50hours/week, has quit. I ask about the possibility of getting more hours in an e-mail. The response the next day from _______ _______ is, “I am training several drivers over the next 2 weeks & will make a decision…”. To me, this means I would have full-time hours by May 24th. It also seems to me, from my past experience with other employers, that the common practice would be to give the full-time hours to the next person in line (by seniority & past promises) and to train the new people on the part-time shifts.
May 19th:
I receive a new schedule and work that week. This is the first week I’ve worked at _______ _______ that I’ve been given more than 30 hours. This is the last time I have worked this schedule and, as of June 9th, the only week I’ve ever been given more than 30 hours.
May 28th:
I’m scheduled for 8:30am the next day. However, at the end of my shift, I’m told to come in the next day at 7:00am instead. The next morning, I receive a text from _______ _______ at 5:51am. The text says, “Please come in at 8:30 this morning instead”. Since I had changed my plans for that morning (and the night before) to come in at 7:00am, my alarm has already gone off at 5:30am and I’m already halfway done getting ready for my shift. This is all to come in at the time I was already scheduled to arrive in the first place.
May 31st:
_______ _______ sends me an e-mail that reads, ”I am still in the process of training, and as such, I will be training someone else this coming Tuesday and Thursday. So I will not need you to come in on those days this week…I still have not decided on all the routes, but hope to make a decision by the end of June.” At this point, my hours have been hovering around 24hours/week. This e-mail cut that to 15hours/week. This is less than what I couldn’t live on at my old job and it’s 25hours/week less than what _______ _______ promised on March 30th. I sent _______ _______ this reply, “This is a very unreliable source of income.” The response from _______ _______ was, “We’ve had so many unexpected changes during the last 2 months.” The changes I saw were 4 people quitting & I’m still not getting the full-time hours I was promised and quit a good job for.
June 5th:
I get woken up by a text from _______ _______ at 5:42am. The text says to come in at 9:30am, instead of the scheduled 8:30am. First, 5:42am is too early to send a text to an employee that is not on the clock for _______ _______ until 8:30am. Second, this is way too short of a notice to change someone’s shift. I wonder what would happen if I called _______ _______ 2 1/2 hours before my shift started to say I would be an hour late. Third, this is cutting another hour off a week where _______ _______ had already cut 2 of my 5 days to give them to a trainee. This is clearly a disrespectful act.
June 8th:
I enjoy doing the work involved at _______ _______ and I’m very good at what I do. I’ve been a professional driver for 11+ years and I’ve received compliments on the quality of my work from _______ _______’s customers & _______ _______’s co-owner, Marlena. The problem is that I’m not being allowed to actually do the work on a consistent basis. The current set-up is far too unreliable to be sustainable. I literally can’t afford to continue like this, so we need to figure something out. Because of _______ _______’s endless delays and broken promises on a full-time schedule, I’ve had to resort to getting food stamps & post-dating my rent checks so they don’t bounce. This has all cost me thousands of dollars and now I’m forced to move from my home and face all of those additional costs. As _______ _______ made sure to point out in the March 30th e-mail, I have also put lots of “faith” in _______ _______ and this is how I’ve been treated. I’ve been more than patient and I’ve trusted that being a friend, things would all be worked out long ago. They haven’t been. _______ _______ has had 2 1/2 months to come up with the schedule I was promised and convinced to quit my other job for. Now, I’m being asked for another 3 weeks. I no longer have any reason to believe that this will actually happen at the end of June. Even if it did, it would be too late for me. I need reliable, full-time income now. I’ve run out of time. I’m more broke than I’ve ever been & I need a decision by the end of the day tomorrow. Let me know what you think.
Regards, Sam Davis”
_______ _______’s owner responded with a denial of any wrongdoing and a petty list of a few ‘new employee mistakes’. This was intended to be a rebuttal to my timeline & somehow in his mind equated with stealing thousands of dollars from me and putting me on the brink of homelessness. I was also presented with an additional waiting period of one more week and an additional, slap-in-the-face offer of 15 hours per week.
I then posted the original version of my e-mail on this website and received this e-mail from _______ _______ the next day, “I find it rather unprofessional of you to post our correspondence on a blog…We no longer require your services here.” Obviously, I had not posted ‘our correspondence’, only my portion of it, because to publish the words of someone else without their permission could be actually illegal. The next day, I received a cease and desist letter from _______ _______’s lawyer threatening a lawsuit. Since I have been made more broke than I have ever been by the endless disrespect that _______ _______ puts its employees through, I have no money to defend my own freedom of speech or to continue what I consider to be a community service by exposing these practices to help other job-seekers avoid them.
Congratulations, _______ _______! You’re a bully with money…which you stole from your employees and which you then use to intimidate people into giving up their rights as citizens…but you’re vegan, so I guess that trumps everything, right?
Unfortunately, these kinds of labor practices are on the rise as resources & jobs are being outnumbered by scarcity & outsourcing. A system based on capital is unsustainable. As human beings, we need to work together now more than ever. This is necessary to break the chains of our dependance on money and those that hoard it for themselves. Working together is also necessary for our souls to avoid the inherent greed that corrupts money & for our survival, for as Alanis Obomsawin (Abenaki) once said:
“…the most affluent of countries, operates on a depletion economy which leaves destruction in its wake. Your people are driven by a terrible sense of deficiency. When the last tree is cut, the last fish is caught, and the last river is polluted; when to breathe the air is sickening, you will realize, too late, that wealth is not in bank accounts and that you can’t eat money.”
We need to act in ways that make money and this kind of corruption obsolete. Who needs money if we pool our knowledge & labor to grow our own food and build our own homes? Who will benefit from our desperation when we don’t have any?
That line (“Boston, you’re my home”), from the song “Dirty Water” by The Standells is on my mind tonight.
I grew up in New Hampshire (“the Shire” if you’re not from there & want to make an ‘annoying-to-decent’ joke). I know it’s not in Boston, or even Massachusetts, if you paid attention in geography class…or history.
Here’s the thing: It’s like when someone has a bunch of brothers & they fight with them all the time, but if someone fucks with one of their brothers…’there will be blood’, as somebody once said. If there’s a competition, of any kind, between NH & MA…I’m screaming ‘MASShole’ as fast as anybody, but I also grew up an hour from Boston. It’s where everybody I knew went when they wanted to go to ‘a City’. It’s the city that is home to all of the teams I’ve been rooting for since I was 10 years old. It’s the city I lived, worked & played around before I moved to Portland. It’s a city that is still home to friends & relatives. (Also…as an aside, for those of you who didn’t pay attention in History class: It’s also the city where Crispus Attucks, a gentleman of half Native American & half African American descent, became the first person to die fighting for independence from the English…in 1770)
You all know what happened today, I don’t need to go through that. It’s horribly sad. The fact that it happened on Patriots’ Day, which is usually such a wonderful day off from work and school for everyone, & during the Marathon just makes it all the worse. I hope this doesn’t ruin these moments, which are so necessary for the psyche of those in need of a distraction from the long winters in the cold, boring states.
Just try to remember that:
-It doesn’t matter what color the person/people who did this was/were, it’s still terrorism (the use of violence to inflict terror).
-Also, this is no time for racism or creedism. Hating someone for their race or religion is no different from them hating you for yours.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” –Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.–
-For every sad person who would do something like this, there are 40 more who would run toward an explosion to help anybody that might be hurt. Fred Rogers once said this, which has been getting quite a bit of circulation today (thankfully):
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me,
‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'”
Let’s try to get through this like humans & at least show some respect to those that we lost & those who lost them.
Goodnight, Boston. We luv you guys. Sleep well.
Here’s “Dirty Water” by The Standells (w/ some stills of Boston mixed in there):
…and sooner or later, things will be back to normal and we can laugh at things like this…
…without feeling guilty for being happy:
Take care, everybody.
There’s still more good than bad out there.
Tell people you love them.
I love you guys.